It Is Done

After one month (and then some), Tile Fest 2005-06 is finished. Kind of. There are still some caulking "issues," but other than that, I am happy to announce that the linoleum is gone, the tiles are secure, and the craziness is, for the most part, over.

Since I was keeping a watchful eye on Chatty McTalkerson for the majority of the project, I didn't get to share in much of D.'s "joy." But I will say that I think the lowest of all the low moments was when he re-installed our commode, turned the water on, and then noticed a Very Slow. But Steady. Leak.

Oh, he said some words at that point that would not, as my mama would say, "further the Kingdom."

He said even more words after he purchased a new commode from A Large Home Improvement Warehouse, brought it home, and it didn't fit.

A couple of days later he called me from Another Large Improvement Warehouse, and when I answered the phone, he said, "Well, I got us a commode."

"Okay," I replied. "Is it the same kind we used to have?"

"Oh NOOOO," he answered. "This one has comfort seating and can flush twenty golf balls."

Puzzled pause from me, then:

"Do we have any NEED to flush twenty golf balls?"

"No. But I feel better knowing that I could if I wanted to."

So, we now have tile, a commode you can sit on comfortably until the Rapture, and a place to dispose of all those annoying extra golf balls you have laying around the house.

Just a little piece of heaven on earth.

P.S. - 12:32 AM

Just a few minutes ago I let D. know that I had put the tale of his new toilet on the Wide World Interweb (as my friend Buddy calls it).

He said, "Well, what did you say about it?"

I told him that I mentioned how the new "toirlet" can flush 20 golf balls and has comfort seating and then more I talked the more he got this sort of pained look on his face, and I thought, "Oh no - I have crossed the internet boundary line on this one - this was just too personal a thing for me to post" (although why would it matter? It's not like anyone actually READS this stuff).

Anyway, I said, "WHAT? WHAT IS IT? What's wrong?"

"It's 2 dozen."

"HUH?"

"Two dozen! The commode can flush TWENTY FOUR golf balls at once. And have you sat on it? Because that commode [pointing at the half bath that has an "old" model] is like squatting. But this new one is like resting or something."

Like I said - it's just heaven on earth around these parts. :-)