Kickin' It With The Stars

I was a part of an email "conversation" today about the State of Television. Several of us (David, Buddy, Andy, Jim) are big fans of "Arrested Development," and we've been a little anxious about whether or not FOX is really going to go through with cancelling it. Jim sent out an email today that indicates the show is nearing its completion - at least on FOX - and there was much grieving and bellyaching as a result. Andy made the sarcastic comment that we could all rest easy because FOX is now showing "Skating with the Stars," and while I pictured the other emailers rolling their eyes and guffawing at the ABSURD notion of watching such programming, I was sitting and thinking, "Yeah, I'd watch it."

So I made a little confession to my "AD" buddies: I TiVo "Dancing with the Stars." I KNOW it's low-brow television. I know that. Andy told me that I am contributing to the overall problem of "[Active Verb]ing with the Stars" television, and he's exactly right (by the way, Andy also suggested that networks consider "Shooting the Stars" or "Will Celebrities Bounce?" as possible new-programming options). But I LOVE me some "Dancing with the Stars."

It's a combination of lots of things, really. The costumes remind me of when I was little and would watch "Lawrence Welk" - except the "Lawrence Welk" girls weren't quite as - ahem - "provocative" as the DWTS contestants. But I love seeing the pretty sparkles and flowy skirts. The guys' costumes are absurd, but I can ignore them because I'm so hypnotized by all the "pretty pretties," as my mother-in-law would say.

And then you have your former-boy-band-member-turned-DWTS-contestant, with a real-life scandal-plagued brother cheering from the sidelines. l'll say no more, except that a small tear came to my eye when I saw Nick Lachey, what with his recent marital troubles and all, standing and clapping for his brother. God love him.

Finally, as I mentioned to Andy, if you were to actually sit in front of the television and watch Master P do the cha-cha, you would set a TiVo Season Pass so quickly that it would make your head spin. I feel a little "connection" to Master P because he lived in Baton Rouge when we did, and it's kind of sweet to see him be really, extraordinarily bad at something like the quick-step or the waltz - but see that he really wants to get better. At BALLROOM DANCING, of all things. I will not go into the things he ALLEGEDLY wanted to get better at when we lived in Baton Rouge, because a great many of those things were illegal. Just rumors, of course. No hatin'. Just appreciatin'. Big ups, P.

Anyway, because God loves me and wants for me to be happy, "American Idol" comes on tonight, and I will watch it in my continued attempts to sustain and support contrived reality television. Today Buddy said, "I personally think reality TV will not bottom out until we see 'Unsweetened Tea or Diet Coke: What Will Buddy Have With Dinner?' debut."

I don't know about you, but I'd watch it.