Sunday, February 19, 2006


I have loved magazines as long as I can remember. Until I die, I will have subscriptions to Vanity Fair and Southern Living (by the way, when Bubba's house was featured in Southern Living a little over a year ago, I tried to explain to him that as far as my girlfriends and I were concerned, he would never achieve anything more meaningful in his whole life ever, but I don't think he understood how deeply I meant it. Girls, do chime in on the significance of such an honor). And while reading VF inevitably raises my blood pressure because there's a good bit of political content that opposes my own views, the articles are long, well-written, and require some degree of thinking on my part. Thinking is good.

I decided at the beginning of this year that I was going to give up all my weekly magazines: Us, InTouch, People. Now, I did fall off the wagon last weekend because I was out of town and nothing says "RELAXING TREAT" to me like going into Walgreens and loading up on magazines, but surprisingly, I wasn't as interested as I anticipated - I found that I had little patience for Katie Holmes' ever-expanding belly and Ben Affleck's ever-present Starbucks cup.

I realized when David and I were having 2006 "budget discussions" that I had spent approximately $500 on magazines over the course of 2005. $500. It made me sick to my stomach. It's not as indulgent as it sounds...figure $10/week, more or less, over the course of a year, and there you have it. But once I had the cold hard figure in front of me, I told David that I was going to give them up - we could be doing so much more with that money, like putting it toward "gambling" or "pyramid schemes."


Seriously, I was tired of Paris' outrageous outfits, tired of seeing Britney waste her life with that ne'er-do-well she married, tired of seeing the Olsen twins cover themselves with seven layers of clothing in the middle of summer (it's called "FAT," Mary Kate and Ashley, and it insulates your body - you should try it. Really. Completely eliminates the need to wear scarves in July).

I guess last weekend I thought that since it had been a couple of months since I'd read Us or InTouch, I would spend hours catching up on all the latest celebrity gossip. Instead, here is what I learned:
  • Jessica and Nick are still separated (and her daddy, in my humble opinion, is still creepy)
  • Brad and Angelina are still together, she's still pregnant, and they're still in a different country each week
  • Nicole Richie still needs a cheeseburger or nine - and fast
  • Tom Cruise still doesn't get that people really aren't interested in Scientology (voodoo!) and really do think he's just a teensy bit insane
  • Lindsay Lohan is still having "accidents" that "aren't related" to "alcohol"
  • Nicole Kidman still isn't admitting she's engaged to Keith Urban (Sister, would you like to clarify?)
  • Jennifer Aniston is still dating Vince Vaughn, and "sources close to her" are still worried that she's on the rebound
  • Paris Hilton is still famous for no discernable reason
Consider yourself up-to-speed on all the latest celebrity news, my friends. I just saved you $10.


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