Don't Even Pretend Like You Didn't Hear Him Scream

Right before David's birthday this year, we found ourselves immersed in the diagnosis and treatment of his upper rib fat cancer.

Tonight, in keeping with our family birthday tradition of illness or injury right before That Special Day, Alex sliced his foot open on a piece of broken plate. And no, it wasn't because we had a Zorba moment and started slinging china around the kitchen while we performed Greek dances and prepared hummus. Unbeknownst to us, a shard was partially sticking out of a garbage bag that was by the back door but had not yet been taken to the garbage can. Alex's foot hit the garbage bag at the wrong angle, and, well, there was some cuttage.

I managed to get Alex out of the kitchen and into the den as I somehow simultaneously ripped off some paper towels to soak up the blood. I got him on the couch, elevated his foot, and tried to apply pressure, although how I knew to elevate and apply pressure I'm not sure, unless I picked it up on an episode of ER (see? television IS so very handy). David was trying to pull out the First Aid kit and get me a wet bathcloth so I could clean the cut, and the following is my best recollection of Alex's words, and I am actually quite confident in the accuracy of said recollection:

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DON'T TOUCH FOOT NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WANNA GET DOWN NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DON'T WANT DADDY NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DON'T WANT STICKER NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DON'T TOUCH FOOT NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO LET GO FOOT MAMA NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO."

And that was just until we got the Band-Aids on.

After offering Veggie Tales fruit snacks (refused), Coke (refused), and a chance to sit in my lap (refused), I finally remembered that the birthday present Alex's godfather sent him was on the dining room table.

Never, ever underestimate the power of a Blue's Clues book and the Golden Book Bible for Children. Nearly instantaneous relief from the screaming.

So we spent the next hour and half, David and I, sitting on the couch with Mr. Man and pretending to be excited when Alex found Blue or Magenta or Side-Table Drawer under a flap in the Blue's Clues book. And we looked at Baby Moses and Noah and all the animals on the ark, though in keeping with his strong Jewish heritage Alex lost all interest when we got to the part about Jesus.

Oh, I'm kidding. KIDDING. We love Jesus around here.

Anyway, he hobbled around for the rest of the night, and right before we went upstairs for his bedtime, I said, "Alex, how's that foot?"

His reply: "It's better, Mama. I'm SO proud."

Mama here is proud, too - proud that he's okay, proud that he's not screaming anymore, and proud that he's sleeping peacefully...snug as an injured bug in a rug. Bless him.