Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Throwing All Grocery-esque Caution To The Wind

Not being home for two weeks means that we were down to some pretty scarce rations when I got here yesterday. I don't know what switch flips when I leave town, but my husband - who normally loves a big home-cooked dinner with all the trimmings - suddenly looks at a scoop of peanut butter on top of a bite of bread and calls it a meal.

Or, you know, he just eats ice cream.

So last night, when I started going through the pantry, trying to figure out what might constitute supper for the family, I found no bread, an almost-empty bag of Cheetos-type product, a few packs of a gelatinous fruit snack, a box of oat bran, a can of garbanzo beans, and some flour.

YUMMMMMMM.

Needless to say, we went to Outback.

So this morning, when I crawled out of bed and started to make my grocery list, it looked something like this:

lip stuff
Gain
food

That was the best I could do.

Normally I'm Queen of the OCD Grocery Shoppers, making my list according to the order of the aisles and my two week pre-planned menu (I'm telling y'all - I'm crazy. WHEN WILL YOU BELIEVE ME?). But today, I was all devil-may-care-ish, rolling through Walmart with no plan whatsoever.

I've gotta tell you: it was liberating.

And if that's not the absolute lamest act of rebellion you've ever heard of ("MAMA GONE WILD IN AISLE SIX!"), then I don't know what is.

So I ended up with this odd assortment of food: chicken and squash and coffee and milk and soup and cinnamon rolls and waffles and grapes and and french toast and pancake mix and, um, Frosted Mini Wheats, even though I haven't bought them in a year or nine, but they struck my cereal fancy when I wheeled by them.

Basically, I have no idea what our menus will be around here for the next couple of weeks, but I'm thinking that we'll be having some hearty portions of poultry with some type of breakfast food on the side. And some fruit until the grapes run out.

In other words, we'll pretty much be hanging out on the pointy end of the food pyramid.

I'm sure to be nominated for prestigious awards by nutrition experts!

And who knows? Since I'm such a wild and crazy woman these days, tomorrow I may even wash clothes and LEAVE OUT THE FABRIC SOFTENER.

Or, you know, not (honestly, the thought of no fabric softener makes my pulse quicken just a little bit. Just a little teensy bit).

And I have a feeling I'll be back at the grocery store in a week or so with my normal overly-organized list in hand. Pre-planned menus and all.

A girl can only live on the edge for so long.

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