Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Because I Am Just That Shallow

For several weeks I've been looking forward to A Very Special Oprah featuring the beautiful Ms. Faith Hill and her handsome husband, Mr. Tim McGraw. Now I'm not normally one to put celebrities on a pedestal - I very much subscribe to the philosophy that celebrities, just like the rest of us, put on their pants one leg at a time and eat things that don't agree with them and stuggle with real problems (on top of eluding the paparazzi and battling your various and sundry addictions).

But Faith and Tim - well, they're special. They're like homefolk who made it big - and even though they're gorgeous and famous and all that stuff, you know deep down that they still eat cornbread and pound cake and the occasional piece of fried chicken. Faith probably eats baked chicken - she's not big as a minute - but Tim, well, you just know that he loves him a good chicken leg every now and again. With some hot sauce on the side. And a biscuit.

Now we're all aware that Coretta Scott-King died last week. I don't know anyone - at least not anyone I could ever be friends with - who would argue that Mrs. and Dr. King lived anything other than heroic lives. They instigated great changes in our country in general and our South in particular, and I know we're all grateful for that. It's a debt we'll never be able to repay, and I want to be very clear that I appreciate and admire what the Kings did with their lives and their calling.

So here is the thing, the evidence of the fact that I am not, as Mama would say, "deep as a thimble." There was a televised memorial service for Mrs. King on Monday. There was a televised funeral for Mrs. King yesterday. A THREE HOUR FUNERAL that PRE-EMPTED the Faith and Tim Oprah. I'm not saying that Mrs. King didn't deserve a three-hour funeral. Not at all. I'm just saying that maybe they could've scheduled it from 10-1 or even 1-4 but why oh Lord why from 2-5 when it cuts right through the heart of the Very Special Oprah that I've been anticipating for weeks?

Today I went to the TiVo, filled with hope that our local ABC station had decided to run yesterday's Oprah episode today, hoping that I'd click "Play" and see Faith's pretty Tammy-Wynette-ish-but-it-works-for-her hair. Instead, it was Matthew McConaughey, who is nice-looking and all but nowhere near, not by the longest shot, the same level as Country Music's Superstar Duo.

Did one of y'all happen to tape Oprah yesterday? Please?


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