Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I Have No Title Because All I Can Think About Is How Filthy My House Is

This morning Alex and I went to the grocery store and the library (I do apologize. It's clearly "WISE BERRIES," at least according to Alex's personal pronunciation guide). It seems to get more humbling by the day, this process of going out to public places with a three year old (um, I don't know if y'all heard or not, but he had a birthday last week).

The thing is, I see these mamas who literally have four kids with them, and they're doing FINE in Walmart or Target or wherever. FINE. And then there's me, Mother of One Child, using every reserve of patience that I have so that I don't snap and push the cart away from my person at a high rate of speed, leaving Alex in the middle of the cereal aisle, where he would apparently sit and scream, "THIS ONE! THIS ONE! Baby Einstein dot com cereal, Mama!" until someone rescues him or Jesus returns, whichever should come first.

So here's what I wonder. Once you get above one child, do you just not hear the whining anymore? Or do you become numb to its effects? Or are you just so worn out that you lack the energy to get worked up about All The Demands? Because I'll tell you what - I don't know how people do it when you factor more than one child into the shopping equation. Couple the whining with Alex's constant "No want to go home, Mama" reminders, and you've got a recipe for Mama On The Edge. I honestly think Alex would be his very happiest if we left the house as soon as he woke up, ran errands to Walmart, Publix, Target, Family Christian, Steinmart, and Party City ALL DAY LONG, then topped off our day with supper in a restaurant, followed by some form of church service. And ice cream afterwards. Anything - ANYTHING - but the routine of being at home.

We did have fun at the library Wise Berries, though. I couldn't help but laugh at myself when I checked out my books...Little Miss English Major, Reader of Fine Literature, brought home the following: Wynonna Judd's autobiography, Shopaholic and Sister, and some Yada Yada Book Club novel. The last two have cute, colorful, swirly drawings on the front and come just short of saying "TAKE ME TO THE BEACH. I AM MINDLESS ENTERTAINMENT. I AM ESCAPIST LITERATURE." So we'll see how those go. I couldn't resist the Wynonna book because 1) I love her, but mainly 2) did y'all see her with her mama and sister on Oprah last summer? They have some issues. ISSUES. DEEEEEEEP issues. I'm rooting for Wynonna, though - she seems like a good girl.

Okay - there's your jumpy narrative for the day. I'm going to try to get this house into reasonable working order while Alex is asleep. I've already filled up half a garbage bag (do y'all ever do that? Just throw away toys when your kids are asleep because you're so sick of stepping over them that you could scream?), and I've got a good two hours of cleaning left. I'll be back later tonight with an Idol re-cap.

Let the cleaning begin.


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