Nice To Meet You

Earlier today I ran in a convenience store to get a diet Mountain Dew and some pork rinds (NO GRIEF about the pork rinds, you hear me? They are a delicious, crunchy, low-carb treat. Sister's got my back on that one if any of y'all try to make fun).

I walked up to the counter to pay, and while the clerk was ringing up my stuff, she started a conversation.

"I can't eat this kind," she said, pointing at my Golden Flake BBQ pork rinds.

"Really?"

"Naw. They're too greasy."

"Oh. Okay."

I couldn't help but wonder why she seemed so astonished that pork rinds are "greasy," because they are in fact A PRODUCT MADE FROM PIGS, but I let it go.

"Tell you what I do like, though. I like them salt and vinegar ones. I can eat them."

"Really?"

"Aw, yeah. They got a little less sodium, too. I really do watch that sodium."

I thought about pointing out the ironies of watching your sodium and eating SALT and vinegar pork rinds, but not having compared the per serving sodium content of the various pork rind brands, I figured I'd keep my mouth shut and take her word for it.

At this point she was putting my stuff in a bag, and I was just about to walk away from the cash register with my tasty snack treats when she gave me way more information than I needed:

"See, I retain LOTS of water. Have a REAL hard time getting rid of it. You have a good day, hon!"

And now, even two hours later, all I can picture is that woman, sitting behind the counter at the Chevron, retaining more and more water by the second while she eats pork rinds and smokes greasy Virginia Slims.

Happy Saturday, everyone!