Funny, Even Out Of Context

Real-life humor, in no particular order:

1. "I like mustard on my crackers." (overheard by Sister and Barry, 2003)

2. "When I was a competitive ice dancer..." (overheard by Diamonds, 2006)

3. "delicate charcoal drawings of Ron Polk" (a B-Diddy original, 2006)

4. "If my daddy wants to think that about me, that is his business." (overheard by BooMama, 2001)

5. "That's how it come up, that's how it went down - good God, life's a soap opera." (overheard by BooMama, 2001)

6. "All charge card charges must be authorizated." (sign in Holly Springs, MS, 1993)

7. "How much did you pay for that? Well, you forgot yo' change!" (an Elise original, 1989)

8. "You don't want none of them retarded baby!" (a nurse, to BooDaddy, while drawing blood to see if our blood types were compatible, during my pregnancy, 2002)

9. "The VCR is not working! I turn it on and all I see is this blue screen with HHMM, HHMM up on the TV! HHMM! HHMM!" (David's mother, to me, 1997...and the "HHMM" would of course be the prompt to enter the, you know, TIME in Hour and Minute increments)

10. "DEAR GOD - Thank you for these many blessings you have STOWED upon us." (overhead by Sister and Barry, 199?)

11. "...and I told him that if he was man enough to lay out all night, he was man enough to get out of bed and get on to work this morning. And he could drive hisself!" (overheard by BooDaddy, 2002)

12. "Hon, get me a to-go box. You KNOW I can't eat all these fries." (overhead by BooDaddy, 2005, while eavesdropping on a country music star at the local Dairy Queen)

Post your own in the comments.

And after looking back over my list, I am truly, deeply grateful that I live in the South.