Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I've Learned From A Toddler
No need for a drumroll.

Well, maybe just a little one.

1. You can search the world over, but you will never find a food more perfect than Cheetos.

2. Finding Nemo is a crowning cinematic achievement, regardless of what you think about the whole Marlin / Dory thing.

3. Potty training? Overrated. Clearly we should all just strap on some form of sackcloth and go about our business (and Our Business), because trips to the bathroom are really nothing more than an interruption to valuable playtime.

4. There's no such thing as too many stuffed animals in the bed. You might foolishly think that 2 or 3 is plenty - but 15 is actually much more desirable.

5. Waking up grumpy is not genetic. Because if it were, I'd have sullen child stomping down the stairs every morning. But his ingrained personality trumps my genetic code every time - and he's all, "HEY, MAMA! HEY, DADDY! HOW YOU THIS MORNIN'? DID YA SLEEP GOOD? WANT WAFFLE WITH SYRUP?" And I'm all, "GRRRRRRRRRRRR." But then ultimately it's hard to growl when a three year old throws his arms around your legs and squeezes.

6. It's nearly impossible to discipline a child and utter the phrase "obedience brings blessing; disobedience brings consequences" without feeling God saying, "And yeah, Mama - that means you, too."

7. Which reminds me: YOU PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE I HAD A CHILD! I thought I was going to be doing the teaching...I had no idea that I would be learning the lessons. Daily.

8. Hearing "What's that?" repeatedly does take a toll on one's patience. And mental health. And demands a period of solitude in order to recover.

9. There is an instant, unbreakable connection between grandparents and grandchildren. And it really has nothing to do with candy. On some level Alex completely senses his grandparents' complete and utter devotion to him. And vice versa.

10. When you were little and sick and your mama said, "I wish it were me and not you," she really did mean it. I never, ever thought that I would wish that I could throw up in someone else's place, but for the little man? Totally.

11. Daddies are clearly way cooler than mamas because daddies make things crank and cut and drill and flame.

12. And mamas are pretty good, too, especially for taking naps and fixing boo-boo's and cuddling before bedtime.

13. Whether you have four children, no children, sixteen children, or one child - there is no greater earthly blessing than family. That I know for sure.